Are You Sad?
by Maxwell-Yuy
Summary: Yaoi... Something is wrong with Duo. Yeah. And Heero sorts out some complicated stuff. Possibly more to come, i don't know. Probably waaay over-rated, but you never know what might come if there's a sequel...
1. Are you Sad?

Disclaimers: As of now, I own nothing. So no suing me... I have nothing anyway.  
  
Notes: Yeah, okay... umm.... this stuff is song lyrics from the song "Are You Sad" preformed by OLP (Our Lady Peace) and the song's great, sets the mood, so if you can, download it!! ~ This stuff ~ is unspoken thoughts. And just so you know, the POV changes very briefly in the middle of the story, but I think you'll know.  
  
  
  
THE FIC: Are You Sad?  
BY: Maxwell-Yuy  
  
  
  
Your life has been so hard  
It's been dried up angels  
that can't keep guard  
  
~ I know about your past, even if you never told me. I know you're always in pain, that something from your past is eating away at you, even if I am not sure why or what it is ~  
  
I'm trying to reach your hand  
But I'm on fire  
  
Heero watched as Duo made his way across the room. Briefly admiring the boy, he allowed himself a small smile, hoping that he could one day reach out to that lively and yet so scarred soul.  
  
Heero sat on the couch, feverish from his moment of intense desire. ~ I want you so much, but right now all I want is to hear your voice ~ He placed his stoic mask back onto his features and awaited the braided boy's usual cheerful greeting.  
  
I never planned to fade away  
Stay with me  
  
The American walked right through the room without making a sound; his face cast down towards the dull floorboards. Heero looked up in time catch a fleeting expression of sorrow tainting the frequently beautiful and jubilant face of Duo Maxwell. The long-haired pilot retreats into the bedroom he shares with the Prefect Soldier.  
  
Would you stop pretending  
when they say you're nothing  
  
~ Duo? ~ Heero thinks, slightly frowning.  
  
Are you sad?  
Are you holding yourself?  
Are you locked in your room?  
You shouldn't be  
  
A stunned Heero remains in the living room. ~ Hn. I knew something was wrong. Why do you run into isolation? Why can't you run to me? You shouldn't be alone, Duo. You should be with someone who you can turn to... ~  
  
Are you sad?  
Are you holding yourself?  
Are you locked in your room?  
You shouldn't be  
  
Duo runs into his bedroom and locks the door. Curling up on his bed, holding his knees close to his chest and shaking, he breaths deeply. ~ I can't keep it all locked up inside forever. Locking myself away won't lock away the feelings. They won't disappear... so if I know all this, then why can't I just face the truth? Why do I keep it all inside when I can tell someone? ~  
  
I'm drowning inside your head  
Help me to answer  
Help understand  
why it's been so long  
since we talked like friends  
  
~ Duo, why is it that you never come to me anymore? You used to sit for hours talking to me about everything and nothing. I know you thought I wasn't listening, but I was. I wouldn't give up even one of those moments for the world... So what happened? Did I change? Did you change? Did the world change and force us apart? I need to know, please... please tell me, talk to me... ~  
  
Please, forgive me  
I'm just a man who makes mistakes  
Stay with me  
  
~ What's going on, Duo? Did I do something wrong? I want to go to you, to comfort you. I want to tell you how I feel. I want to tell you how happy you make me, how sweet a room smells when you enter it, how the clouds part for you and the sun shines... how you make my heart race and my head spin... I just need you to stay with me. Stay with me until I can bring myself to tell you these things. Stay with me until I can shed my mask and openly offer you my love, my life. ~   
  
Would you stop pretending  
when they say you're nothing  
  
~ Stop pretending that everything's fine. You know it's not. I know it's not. And I'm going to do everything I can to make things right again. You don't need to hide from me. I'll never reject you, I'll never judge you. I've accepted you as you are, even if it's against my training to do so. I've accepted every part of you, even the past that you try so hard to keep secret. ~  
  
Heero got up from where he sat, venturing up to his room - their room, determined to soothe his comrade, his love.   
  
Are you sad?  
Are you holding yourself?  
Are you locked in your room?  
You shouldn't be  



	2. I Don't Want You to Ignore Me

Disclaimers: Yeah, I don't own Gundam Wing. I don't own anything... except maybe my imagination... So uh... no suing me. You won't get anything. And the song in this is "Muscle Museum" preformed by Muse, and I switched the "hers" to "his", etc...so I don't own that either.  
  
Notes: this stuff is song lyrics, ~ this ~ would be unspoken thoughts. And the POV changes. It starts with Duo, and then switches back and forth between him and Heero. I tried to make it easy to follow, but if you have trouble, I'm sorry.  
  
Oh, and this was supposed to be a sequel, but it got off track of what I wanted the sequel to be... maybe I'll write another after this...  
  
  
THE FIC: I Don't Want You to Ignore Me  
BY: Maxwell-Yuy  
  
  
He had something to confess to  
But you don't have the time  
So look the other way  
  
Recently he never pays attention to me. It's like he doesn't care. He'll sit all day with that laptop of his, making love to it, his hands flying all over it, teasing it, toying with it. He never stops working. Yes, he does leave his work to sleep, but that's the only prolonged time he's away from the laptop. He probably named it. No, Heero wouldn't do that, but if he were "normal" I suppose he just might...   
  
Every time I try to open up he just keeps typing. Unwavering hands gliding across the keys -- So many keys... why can't I find the one that opens up his heart? Sometimes I don't even think he loves me. He never has time for me. It hurts.  
  
You will wait until it's over  
To reveal what you'd never shown him  
Too little much too late  
  
Heero knocks on the bedroom door. A muffled "go away" breaks through the physical barrier, and knowing better than to leave Duo all by himself, he begins to infiltrate the room. But to his surprise, the door was locked. In all the time he'd known Duo, the braided pilot never locked doors. ~ Maybe I'm too late. What if he's already made up his mind to never reveal his secrets to me. What if it's all over between us? Oh, what have I done? I should have said something sooner instead of doing my best to seem like I didn't care. ~  
  
Too long trying to resist it  
You've just gone and missed it  
It's escaped your world  
  
"Duo? Duo, I'm sorry. I... I... listen, I..."  
  
"What do you want?! Go away Heero!" Duo yelled, disgusted in his outburst and the words that to his ears sounded much more harsh than he expected.  
  
Heero stared at the door. Did his Duo just say that? His heart sank into his stomach, and he felt sick. Uneasiness washed over him as he grabbed his head and ruffled up his already unruly hair that for some reason was beginning to dampen with cold sweat. ~ I'm sweating. I must be afraid. ~ He cleared his mind for a moment. ~ I've never been afraid before in my life. ~  
  
Can you see that I am needing  
And begging for so much more  
Than you could ever give  
And I don't want you to adore me  
Don't want you to ignore me  
When it pleases you  
Yeah, and I'll do it on my own  
  
"Duo," He started again, "do you remember that time at one of Quatre's places, I think I was somewhere in Italy, by the Riviera, and there was this big garden behind the house facing the Mediterranean?"  
  
There was no response.  
  
"Well, I remember it well. Like it was yesterday. You were walking through the gardens, by the rose garden, I believe, and you found me there in the garden, filing reports to J and hacking into Oz files. You wore this summer jacket, black of course, that went down to your ankles and flared out as it trailed behind you when you moved. And your necklace was out, for once, over this black tank top with red embroidery on the front right. And you had on long black pants... I really don't know how you can do that in the summer, but you did. And you came right up to the bench I was typing at and asked me why I was working on such a nice day. And when I didn't really give a response, you started talking about life, the war, and your hopes about a life after fighting.  
  
You said you wanted so much from life that you figured that Fate would find it easier to have you die during the war rather than fill out all your desires. You said that you wanted the freedom of being able to go out and play in the rain and the restraints of a firmly grounded job. You wanted to read just about every book in print, that you wanted to write, to see the whole world - I guess you figured you might just deserve to see it after saving it. You said you wanted to live on Earth because the sunsets and sunrises were beautiful.  
  
...And in passing, almost to yourself, you mentioned how you wanted to be loved. How you wanted someone to be there for you, to dance with you in the rain, to meet you at work and take you out to lunch, to read to you, to travel with you, to watch every sunset with you.  
  
I know you thought I wasn't listening. You thought a soldier like me wouldn't -- couldn't care about dreams. But I did listen. I heard everything. From that day on, every time it rained it took all the restraint in me not to take you by the hand and lead you outside. And every day I'd watch the sunset, and I'd imagine you doing the same wherever you might be. You see, I did care and I do care. I have so many other memories of similar times. Times in which you bore your soul to me and didn't even know it. Times when I... I... I fell in love with you over and over again, deeper and deeper. I'm sorry if I didn't show it. I'm so sorry..."  
  
I have played in every toilet  
But you still want to spoil it  
To prove I've made a big mistake  
Too long trying to resist it  
You've just gone and missed it  
It's escaped your world  
  
Silence reined supreme, and then the lock on the door clicked off, and Heero saw Duo opening the door, not to their room, but to his heart.  
  
"You don't understand, do you Heero?"  
  
Can you see that I am needing  
And begging for so much more  
Than you could ever give  
And I don't want you to adore me  
Don't want you to ignore me  
When it pleases you  
  
"Heero, you really hurt me. How can you just ignore someone if you truly love them? How do I know you won't do it all over again? I don't need constant attention, Heero. I just need to be loved."  
  
"Duo, I..."  
  
"I'm not done, Heero!" he snapped. "You need to get this straight. You can't mistreat me. Okay? I love you, I will till the day I die, and after... but I can't live like this."  
  
Heero stood, shoulders slumped, eyes glued to the floor. He lost. ~ I feel like I'm dying. It's hard to breathe. Duo's rejecting me... ~  
  
Yeah, and I'll do it on my own  
And I'll do it all by myself  
  
Duo lifted a hand, and gently touched two fingers to Heero's chin, bringing them face to face. "Heero," he said sweetly, "Just promise me you'll work with me, not against me, okay koi?"  
  
As he caught sight of the hope in Heero's eyes and the smile playing at the corner of his lips, he added, "I never thought you could remember everything about that time at Quatre's." He said smiling, "and you know what?" He leaned in, his lips beside Heero's ear, and whispered, "The weather man said it's supposed to rain tomorrow."  
  
  
  



End file.
